Saying no is better than O.K
It consists of just two little letters, but the word “no” can have a big impact on your relationships with others—and with yourself. Too little “no” and you might overbook your schedule and bring on too much stress in the process. Finding a balance between yes and no is key, but that equilibrium can only exist if you’re able to see both the positive and negative sides of saying no.
“I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done.Innovation is saying ‘no’ to 1,000 things. You have to pick carefully.” Steve Jobs.
Wielded wisely, No is an instrument of integrity and a shield against exploitation
It often takes courage to say. It is hard to receive. But setting limits sets us free.
Have a listen – Below, Sarri Gilman discusses how clear boundaries enhance relationships and everyone’s quality of life.
Say no politely and enjoy the positive effects
Positive effects of saying no:
No can be a positive act that will lead to more personal fulfillment and better interactions with others.
- Saying no means you value your time – requires a strong sense of self, it will reinforce your emotional well-being
- Saying no can be a brave act – each time you kindly say no, without an explanation, it is a brave act of self-respect
- Saying no means you know what you want – not saying no may build up resentment in relationships
- Saying no means standing your ground – find this fortitude carries over into other areas of your life
- Saying no is sometimes saying yes – offering to do something another time when you’re available is kind
Polite ways to say…NO
Deflecting and delegating responses
- “The team and I are pretty swamped right now, but…
- “I’m pretty maxed out at the moment, but … (pick a response below)
- we/I can look at this in
- “I can’t do this/help you but I can recommend someone else.” Or “Let me hook you up with xxx. I’ll ask him/her for you.” (or better still) – “why don’t you ask him/her?”
- “I’d love to help but I’d be letting other people down and I can’t do that.”
- I’m proud of you for…. But I won’t be able to…..
- I have a few projects I’m working on at the moment and don’t want to make unachievable commitments
Polite ways to say…NO for managers
- “Rather than me doing this for you, how can we work out a way where you will be comfortable to do it yourself?” (you are exploring the how we can do this)
- “Let me tell you what I would do in this situation… … Would that work for you?”
- I love that you come to me for help, however, I won’t be able to give this important task/role the time and effort it deserves/I won’t be able to get to this today/this week and I don’t want to let you down, but I’m happy to help brainstorm some ideas with you if that helps?”
- I have a few pressing deadlines this week, can this wait till I have a gap?
- I love that you come to me for help. Have you brainstormed a few solutions? I’m happy to review those options and give you my input
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